


The storm inside

by Patatarte



Series: Love around the living room [11]
Category: cowchop
Genre: James is cute, M/M, Trevor is an amazing friend, depressed Aleks, floof haired Aleksandr, mute aleksandr, short haired James, there's a storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 04:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15453333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patatarte/pseuds/Patatarte
Summary: The sky is troubled, dark clouds full of rain and thunder.Aleksandr has the same storm inside of him.





	The storm inside

Aleks had a tiring day. Not so much to do, but he felt tired of it since he got out of bed. He kept walking around the appartment, slowly, doing pointless things and sighing before stopping next to the huge kitchen/living room's window. Dark clouds covered the sky, rolling slightly, announcing a storm, at best.

A wall of rain was approaching his way and, as a reflex, Aleks put on his hoodie even if he was inside. He heard the powerful thunder and laid his palm flat on the window, enjoying the vibration it gave. Then the rain poured on the glass and the quick moment of excitment disappeard.

For some reasons, he felt the melancholia associated with the rain. But he loves the rain, maybe that's why it makes him feel so strange today. He feels sad about that weather, dissociates about time even. He's just there, standing and with his palm against the window, looking at the rain and the light flashing outside.

An emotion is taking over and he doesn't even know which one, it's just too much, he feels like choking on invisible tears.

He doesn't even hear Trevor calmly closing his bedroom's door, ready to leave for the end of the day to do whatever he wants. Trevor catches Aleks' mood just by seeing half of his face. Gets that he's not in the best place right now. It happens on these days, and Trevor only knows one way to ease it for Aleks.

He clears his voice and that finaly makes Aleks turns his head in a snap. Aleks doesn't plan on looking so annoyed or rude, but he's in that mood wether he likes it or not. He's just glad that Trevor understands and doesn't try to ask for infos. Instead, Trevor stands next to him and looks outside, not looking interested in the weather at all, or just perhaps noting which jacket he has to go out with.

Trevor isn't a monster, he's not going to leave him alone like that. But at the same time, he can't stay for too long because he promised someone. So he does what he has to, sending a text to one of their mutual friends, a loud guy that always brings joy with him. Aleks can lie about him, Trevor isn't stupid, these smiles they exchange aren't exactly just low friendly. There's a link between them, and it doesn't matter if it's a young link, it's already a powerful one.

"I have to head out in 10min. You ate something ?" Trevor then asks, looking at the text their friend, James, sent back, a simple "ok, on my way". 

As Aleks doesn't give any answer, not moving at all, Trevor turns his head to the kitchen area where everything is too neat. They made the week dishes yesterday and nothing moved, except the bowl and plate that Trevor used. He's not going to argue with Aleks right now, but quickly types another text to ask James to bring back some warm food.

They just stand, and Trevor doesn't mean to look too long but he does and Aleks snaps him out of it, hissing and hidding a bit more in his hoodie. He's not about Trevor's puppy eyes right now. So Trevor decides to move, because he's just standing awkwardly and there's just the rain and thunder and the obnoxious clock on the wall. It needs music here, so he goes to his room and brings back some good tune.

He puts on a chill vinyl that he found with Jakob some weeks ago, a good vibe, perfect for soft mood and- Aleks stomps his feet on the ground and takes the vinyl out of the machine and turns it off. He was barely careful enough to not damage it and Trevor holds his hands up as a resignation, mumbling a sorry and grabbing his jacket before leaving.

There's no way he can do anything for Aleks at that moment.

So he leaves, takes the stairs and waits a bit before leaving the building, even deciding to cross the road to have a chance to maybe see Aleks behind the window, but he doesn't. It's not like Aleks even cares at that moment, he's just sensing the rain on the thin window and feels like he's going to cry at any moment now.

There's just so much emotions at once that seems all negative that he doesn' t know what to do at all. It seems like they want to get out as tears, too much being bottled up. It's not like he can scream anyways.

Screaming. Fuck, he hates that. He grabs a chair and throws it. It's not even a big chair, and it fell on a pile of clothes so it doesn't even make that much noise. Disappointing, unsatisfactory. 

At moments, he feels like everything inside of him is like ash, everything tasting the same, bland, dark, awful. But then his body turns against him and he's tense, so tense and having those tears menacing to fall but he tries to keep them in, making it worse. He silently sobs, but keeps the tears in. He knows that he can't cry yet. Because fucking Trevor texted James, he's sure of it.

He can't just show himself cry in front of him. Not to that fucking sun explosion, volcano bullshit reincarnated in a man. He's loud for the both of them and even more. Aleks should be so annoyed by him, but it makes the conversations full. There's almost no silence even when Aleks signs his responses.

The knock at the door 20 minutes later makes him breathe full lungs, trying to get those damn tears back inside as he walks slowly to the door, not about to get the man out, even if he somehow wishes to be left alone.

James is there, short hair, beard and clothes soaked by the rain, a mocking smile on his face as he's laughing about his own fate. He looks ridiculous and lets out a warm laugh as he steps inside. Aleks just closes behind him and closes his eyes just a second. He thinks he needs strength to spend his time with James.

Already in the living room, James talks about many things, trivial things, as he puts the meal he bought on the kitchen counter. He's filling the void with his voice and Aleks is surprised when he stops at random times, realizing that he stops when the thunder rolls, letting them appreciate the noise as the vibrations get a bit more powerful now that the storm is above the city.

Aleks barely listen, but James also barely talk. He's monologuing about random things really, he doesn't expect Aleks to listen. But the bag of food is pushed to him with an insisting look. Aleks shakes his head and James nods, pushing the bag further. Aleks snaps it out and looks what's inside. Nachos, the ones Aleks once said he loved. That asshole got him those.

As Aleks' eyes communicate with his brain and then his stomach, James gives a huge smile, knowing that he won at least that part. As he picks up some pieces of it, James goes to the TV, looking under and asking if he got the new game they talked about. 

Since he's turning his back on Aleks, the younger has to grab something (an orange, in that case) and throw it at James to make him turn and face him. Which happens without any more fuss than a manly scream. James knows how it works so he's not going to complain as he focus on understanding what the signs Aleks is doing mean. 

Most of the time, Aleks uses simple signs and points a lot at things. So he does point to his room and mimes where it is as James' face lights up as he understands and moves to get it. Aleks knows that James plans on playing the game with him. But he tried to already, and he couldn't really. He played 5 minutes before turning the whole thing down.

James isn't really asking anyways, coming back with the game and turning the settings on, knowing everything that has to be known about them anyways. Aleks just eats bits of food and keeps watching outside, even when James turns to him as a silent way to tell him to sit with him on the tiny couch.

Aleks moves, eventualy, and tries not to get too upset when James turns around to check if he's not bored or about to leave. But because he doesn't want to sit on the couch, he opens the door to the little balcony, not bothered by the rain coming in as he sits on the arm of the couch. The wind brings the strange smell of rainwater and grass, probably from the parc not too far away. 

It feels good, or better already. As There's two distinct worlds coliding.

It stays that way for a while, with James playing and making commentaries to get Aleks to turns and laughs a little at some stupid stuff happening, and the storm continuing outside with raindrops and the wind coming inside.

It's only when Aleks moves a bit to straightened his back that James talks directly to him again. His full name, calmly, seriously. Aleksandr, come next to me, your back needs that. And somehow, Aleks does that, just letting himself slips on the arm of the couch to end on the couch, still turned to the outside. 

There's a sudden silence. Or, strange ambiant, as the game stops and James keeps silent. He looks outside as well, decided to go with Aleks' activity. It makes Aleks feels even more vulnerable and exposed. There's no way to hide behind the gameplay or James' voice, he sees him, sees how he is.

His hands dig in the couch's fabric, nervous, unwell, but still tired. 

One of his foot is wet because of the rain. He's the one inside and he still has a foot wet. He's even wearing a hoodie inside while James had nothing and got soaked. What a world without any sense and... He's just tired, and the more he listens to the rain and thunder, the more he wants to sleep, still too aware of James' presence close to him.

He sees movement and turns his head slowly, barely noticeable, and sees James' hand close to his. There's support that wants to be given but without knowing how. Aleks' heartbeat becomes suddenly noisier than the storm. He decides to jump in. And it's even harder than the idea of jumping out of the window.

Aleks just turns a little bit more, on the opposite way of James and lets himself falls, his back ending on James' lap. He's glad his hair can hide a bit of his face, but still, James looks at him in shock but then soften and smiles. His hands go on Aleks' shoulder, firmly, and Aleks thinks he got it wrong and already feels the ashes at the pit of his stomach.

But James just makes him move a bit, turning his body too, making the position different and better. Aleks' legs are hanging out the couch's arm, his back is against James' torso, two arms around his waist. It's just so he can still see the storm while James can also enjoy it.

Aleks can feel everything around him as he puts his hands on James' ones. The thunder, the rain, the wind coming in as James exhales what sounds like a smile. There's a whisper asking if Aleks wants to hear about the serie James watched this week. Aleks just nods and soft talking starts, like a lullaby.

Sure, Aleks still has his demons, but there's also a voice keeping them at a safe distance right now. The storm makes him feel so much too and one tear falls that he never even felt. Followed by another, and many more. The tears fall on their hands but James doesn't stop talking. He's looking outside, breathing calmly in Aleks' ear as his thumbs brushes against his stomach. 

James is so soft, so nice to lean on, way better than the couch. And his voice when he's not yelling and screaming is so peacefull. It's only when he wakes up that Aleks realizes that he fell asleep at one point. He's lying on James, on that damn tiny couch. It's dark outside, the balcony is closed and there's a blanket on them. The faint light under Trevor's bedroom's door is the answer to many questions.

Aleks blinks and moves a little, having James open his eyes and whispers to him to go back to sleep, one hand buried in the big fluff of hair that Aleks keeps proudly. There's no expectation nor asking for anything as Aleks just looks outside and see a faint light flashing outside with the quietest thunder following. 

The storm that happened in and out got tamed for the night.


End file.
